Living With Cats

I am a confident person and quite often my self-confidence is mistaken for…well I don’t know what to be honest but I know I get blamed for it for some strange reason by people who look at me and see something that doesn’t exist on the inside.

Yes I’m happily married, I have a nice house that frankly needs a serious facelift.  I have a nice car; not my first choice of car because I had to sell my favourite as it was unreliable but a nice one all the same.  I have clothes and jewellery, I have make up and the ability to do my own hair fairly well.  I generally look well turned out.

I’m a transformational author, speaker and life coach who is completely comfortable on a stage and the bigger the audience the better.  I’ve been published in many of the mainstream Spiritual magazines and I’m all over the place on line with a following that’s building nicely.  I’m also a cats-mum and that’s where the wheels of ego come off!

I love it, don’t get me wrong, we’ve rescued 6 cats and if we had the money we’d rescue another dozen, but there is no way a cat owner can become too full of themselves and certainly no way a cat mother of 6 can become too aware of their own magnificence.

For a start, they know they’re superior to you.  As people often quote – cats were worshipped as gods during Egyptian times and they’ve never forgotten it!  It’s true.

Another thing is that if you work at home, as I do, you are at their beck and call.  My friend runs a coffee shop and she isn’t at the beck and call of her customers in the same way that we both are with our cats.

Cats have fur-balls, they bring them up with no consideration to the glamour or cost of your carpets and other furnishings because they just don’t care.  So very shortly after you have kittens your soft furnishings get trashed and you don’t care.  It makes for a much more relaxed environment.

They also have claws and teeth and it’s quite amazing what they can do with them.  We have a three-legged cat called Charlie and his kittenish antics became the stuff of legend.  Firstly he couldn’t jump onto furniture so he climbed it so our pristine leather sofas became nothing more than a ladder.  Who cares because we don’t.   He also chewed things, his favourite choice of chew toy being the electric cables in the house.  It took a fizz-bang when he chewed through a CAT5 cable (yes really) for me to discover that and spend the next few days denuding all the DIY stores in the area of electric cable cover and feeding wires into the stuff for hours on end!

Ami loves curtains, up she’d go sometimes between the curtain and the lining and then fight her way out.  Mojito on the other hand falls out with great clinging of claws and sliding down the curtains before he crashes onto Tony’s coffee table demolishing everything in sight.  We don’t care.

They don’t respect the great career you have that others envy you for either, they just expect you to be indoors providing food and acting as a door keeper when they want to pop in and out if the weather is in any way inclement.  Which includes temperatures below 30 degrees and even temperatures above 30 degrees.  It’ means they need desperately to be let out in the rain and 5 seconds later they’re furious that you had the lack of consideration to do exactly as you were instructed.

You also spend a lot more time in supermarkets.  Go to any pet food aisle and you will find multiple cat lovers on their hands and knees praying to a kind God that the food you’re going to buy this week will go into the garbage via the litter tray rather than straight from the plate.  Of course you will be pinned to the wall by the accusing eyes of starving children who cannot believe that you insulted their digestive systems with such (expensive) muck.  The same digestive systems that can easily accept a fly, a beetle or a spider!

Being a cats mum means all that and I love every single second of it, cleaning up after the fur balls, covering the wires so we don’t get more fizz bangs, extracting them from the curtains, explaining why they don’t have to spray the house when an intruder comes in the back garden, picking them out of fights or off the fences they allegedly can’t get down from even though they could get up!

So that’s me, tremendously important cat servant.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights, and cats…lots of them!


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