Rockin’ Again

It’s been a long time since I visited this blog, and if anyone suggests that I forgot I will take immediate offence as only a Rockin’ 50 can – like a two-year-old with 48 years experience.

It should be clear that a Rockin’ 50 never forgets anything, they merely suffer from lack of interest, enthusiasm, or both.  The other thing you need to watch out for is people suggesting that you didn’t hear.  Regardless of whether this is true, you must respond to that heinous accusation with the greatest possible indignation and condemnation, nothing else will do.  And do not fall into the trap of suggesting that other people mutter, the only possible reason for failing to hear is that you were thinking deep thoughts of momentous importance at the time and your mind was on greater things.

The young will try these ageing tactics on you, and there is no need to fall foul of them, but you must defend yourself like a ninja, okay a ninja with a few more aches and pains than the younger generation tend to have but a ninja nonetheless.  And remember, you can make up in guile and resourcefulness (cheating) for any physical deficiencies, but never, ever, and I cannot stress this strongly enough, put any ache or pain down to anything but hard living, partying, and extreme sports.  That or your time in MI6 or the CIA, neither of which you can talk about obviously.

The defence to accusations of hearing issues is simple and effective, when next in a room with the younger generation move your mouth as if speaking but make no noise, then leave.  That will cause a certain amount of confusion amongst the young, which is our best weapon.  It’s very difficult to smack someone when you can’t remember where your spectacles are and could easily land up hitting a wall.  This does not look good and is, quite frankly, ageing.  However, causing confusion has long-term positive effects because it makes them scared to question you.

More nefarious shenanigans tomorrow.




Reasons Not to Exercise (and one very good reason why you should)

I wanted to address the idea of exercise today because being a Rockin’ 50 myself I know it’s a great idea that got lost amongst work, shopping and the kids, and not something many embrace with enthusiasm.  Partly due to the fear that someone might see that your waist is wider, your chest is lower, your stomach is more outy and your butt is now two rear knees.

I embrace the idea of exercise very well, the problem is that I also embrace the fact of procrastination and if I’m honest I’m far better at the procrastination.  However, in the interests of this blog I’ve investigated exercise at great length and given due consideration to all the latest fads and fashions.

I tried distance running and thought I was doing very well until someone told me that 10 feet wasn’t impressive.  So I gave that up on the grounds that the suggested distances were practically international.  France is only 3k from London isn’t it?

I thought about interval training but discovered that this didn’t mean going to the gym every 3rd month, something I’m really good at.  I passed out during the explanation of what it actually entailed and practically had to be resuscitated, so I gave that up in advance.

Then there was my foray into yoga, which was just embarrassing because whilst the others were putting their foot over their heads with ease even a rope over a pulley with three burly men tugging on it couldn’t get my ankle past my knee.

Pilates went well except that laying on the floor doing these very small movements very slowly just gave me time to worry about things that didn’t matter; when told to contact my abs they wouldn’t speak to me on the grounds of years of neglect.  Plus I fell over doing a balancing exercise that involved both feet firmly on the ground and the support of a wall, and I cannot bear the long-suffering look on the faces of instructors when that sort of thing happens.

Weight lifting was a problem because lifting my butt out of a chair didn’t qualify.  The wheels came off Step when I didn’t realise that a cat had laid down on top of it and I nearly spiflicated myself in order to save a treasured life.

Skipping made me look like a torturer’s victim, especially the rope burns around the throat – goodness knows how I did that – and trust me when I tell you that dangly crystal earrings and skipping ropes are not a good mix and I’m not giving up my earrings!  The stilettos are a killer too.

With kettle bells apparently it’s wisest to keep a good grip because having the mirrors in the fitness studio replaced is expensive and they don’t let you back in after you’ve narrowly missed the instructors head with 4kg of solid iron.  Personal trainers apparently want you not just to pay them but answer the door when they turn up, which is a huge obstacle to the idea of theoretically doing the right thing whilst not meaning a word of it.  You just can’t answer the door to a fitness instructor with a slice of cake in one hand and a bar of chocolate in the other.  They frown on that.

Then I discovered martial arts (all right I was thrown into the room by my husband – true story).

I am the least likely martial artist in the world.  When I first walked into a training hall, or Dojang, I’d never done anything that couldn’t be done in 3″ heels.  I spent the first year of my training with every hair sprayed in place and wouldn’t punch anyone if I wasn’t wearing mascara.  The training costume, Dobok, made me look like a bin bag tied in the middle, but the “aren’t you slim” comments when I wasn’t wearing it made that all worthwhile.  So I tried “all I really need to do is put on something that makes me look fat, take it off and look slim and fit” theory on my husband as a get out clause, but it didn’t work.

However, I loved it, I went twice a week and instead of going wobbly at the thought of exercising I went wobbly if I couldn’t go.  Sadly, just before I was due to take my 2nd Dan something ruined it for me and as I never found an instructor half as good as mine, so I had to give up.

This was followed by Zumba which I love but which I have several good reasons for not doing again: shape of the car park; time of classes; heat; cold; darkness; best time for tea/writing/attacks of indifference/laziness outbreak, and so on.  I refuse to admit that often I forget it’s Tuesday or 6.30 pm, or both.

However, or even butt, one of the things I’ve noticed since I turned fifty is that where fitness used to be an option it’s now more of a necessity.  Having spent 49 years getting this face and body to peak gorgeousness I suddenly found myself in a place where that gorgeousness needed to travel back north.

I also found, and don’t tell a soul, that I was starting to ‘ooof’ when getting in and out of chairs and as we Rockers know we can’t have that.  Taking all this into consideration, and wanting to avoid two rear knees, I’ve realised that whilst exercise is important you will only do it if you enjoy it.  So what do you enjoy?

  • If you enjoy the pub then choose one a distance away, walk there and enjoy one or two drinks and walk back; don’t undo the benefits with calories.
  • If you enjoy music and dance then Zumba or FitStep might float your boat, or you could try Ballroom and Latin, Salsa, or the Lindy Hop if you think you’ll survive.
  • If you like the water then walk or run by the water; same goes for trees, hills, beaches and so on. Walk and run where you like to be.
  • If you feel the need to walk or run but don’t really want to, try going out for 10 minutes and then turning round and coming back, increase your speed slowly going further and further every 10 minutes.
  • If you really want to try the gym and know you might as well throw money away then go the extra mile and pay a personal trainer, they’ll nag but you might find that you won’t let them down so you will go. Getting one that’s eye candy also guarantees at least 3 weeks attendance.
  • If you’re not fit then a Wii Fit is brilliant, it’s fun, easy and a good way to get started, providing you do it in bare feet or wear grippy socks otherwise it’s a good way to get to the emergency room. And beware of cats, dogs and rabbits.

For the men:


  • If you like footie then get a group of mates together for a fun kick-about, you can play together nicely in the park and you don’t have to be David Beckenham or Ryan Biggs (wasn’t he a train robber, or was that Ronnie Giggs?).
  • Men seem to enjoy riding bikes so get a push bike and a group of mates together and cycle to the nearest pub. This will be a brilliant for your fitness because you won’t dare have more than two beers otherwise on the way home you might wobble, break suddenly, slide forwards hard, and then you’ll fit right in at Zumba or FitStep.
  • You could also try shopping with your other half and running from store-to-store in front of him/her daring the staff behind the tills to take their credit card on pain of death. This will also help them as they will move much faster between shops trying to beat you.  Altruism rocks.

Other handy tips are:

If you have an upstairs and downstairs toilet in the house use the upstairs one when you’re downstairs and the downstairs one when you’re upstairs, except at night when it’s better for overall fitness if you make your way to the nearest exit point and don’t risk going downstairs the fast way – especially if you have black cats who sleep on stairs.

  • If you’ve never lifted a weight in your life use two tins of soup and work out a bit whilst you’re watching TV.
  • Play music indoors and jig about enthusiastically. You could also dance along whilst you’re using the sucky thing to clean the carpets.
  • Park at the opposite end of the car park to the stops, you know you’ll get a space easier because everyone else is trying to get two cars into one space in order to avoid all those yards of exercise.

There are so many fun ways we can exercise, keep fitter and consequently work off stress (which is very ageing and wrinkle inducing).  Think about what you’d enjoy and then give it a whirl whilst telling yourself that you’re off out for some fun.  Don’t whatever you do mention the exercise word to yourself or you’ll spend your fun time laying down in the recovery position trying to get over the shock.


We owe it to the world to preserve our gorgeousness.

Happy toning and buffing


P.S. If you punch or kick a punch bag please remember two things, one it comes straight back at you and two, raw steak is good for black eyes! I’m not sure if it works anywhere else though.

We owe it to the world to preserve our gorgeousness.

Happy toning and buffing


P.S.  If you punch or kick a punch bag please remember two things, one it comes straight back at you and two, raw steak is good for black eyes!  I’m not sure if it works anywhere else though.

P.P.S.  Always consult your doctor before taking up any new fitness programme (they could do with the giggle).  No seriously, be careful especially if you have existing medical conditions.


Thoughts of a Teenager

Dear Mum (and Dad, Gran, Grandpa)

I’m like totally down with having you guys in my life.  You seem like a great old bunch, bit fussy and pedantic sometimes but hey, I’m a Rockin’ teen and I’m quite capable of giving you a great view of my back and being careful to keep my long suffering look locked in until I get outside the house.  The tree in the front garden can confirm the number of long-suffering looks at your oldness.

You oldies are pretty great really compared to what some of my friends have to put up with, me an’ my bro are lucky I know that, but it gets really down (that’s down down not great down which means I’m up) when you guys start on about the dangers of this world and the need for a safe, well paid job, when I’m looking forward to my next night at a club and you’d be like totally freaked out about if you knew I’d ever been there (which you do now).

It’s a great place, I’m deaf and have a pounding headache for a few days after I’ve been and that’s why my college grades are a bit up and down, nothing to do with the hormone story I tell you, and I guess the pills and alcohol don’t mix well either but who cares, it’s worth it for the laughs and at least I’m not sitting indoors commenting on Corrie and like thinking it’s all real.  It’s not real guys, not like my life, that’s just too real for words.

My reason for writing to you is that I’m too scared to say this to your faces, and as I’m currently in France studying for my Geo-politics course (not…they have FANTASTIC clubs over here) it seemed like a safe time to tell you what I’m thinking.

You see I had a bit of a SHOCK the other day (no mother I’m not pregnant nor do I have an STD).

I capitalised it because it was a BIG shock, you see I was looking through your stuff for something I could wear to a retro party (were you really that skinny Mum?) and I found the family photograph albums.  “Yawn” I thought, and then a photo of our old dog Thumper fell out so I just had to put it back right ‘cos he was cool.

When I opened the book there were all kinds of old photos of you guys when you were young and even some of Granny and Grandpa when you and Dad were little.    Granny didn’t look much older than me when she was holding Dad.  You all looked so happy and alive, you were smiling these huge smiles in all the photos and in one you were in this tiny bikini I’d never get into and Dad was running down the beach with you in his arms.  You were like size zero or something and your boobs were all small and perky and up by your shoulders.

You looked happy and alive and now you look tired and bored.  Sorry but you do.  All the time bored.  “What shall we watch on TV?”  “I don’t care, you choose.”  I listen and think, why are you watching TV if you don’t care about it?  Sometimes it seems your whole life is about “I don’t care you choose”, not just TV but eating, eating out, shopping, everything.  And don’t get me started on hair (can’t be bothered to fuss with it) and make up (so old it’s drier than the Sahara).

I hope I don’t get like that, I want to want to always want to care and choose.

Then the other day I was passing your bedroom Mum and you were standing in front of the mirror and you looked so sad.  You were holding a roll of fat around your waist and trying to lift it up.  Then you leaned in and looked at the crows feet round your eyes and no matter how hard you pulled or lifted they wouldn’t go.  I know Dad says that he loves your “love rolls” and “laughter lines” and I know you say that you lost your figure having me and my bro and you wouldn’t change it for the world and I get that, but it does make you sad, I saw it.

Do you know why I was scared of a photograph album Mum?  It was because of everything you’ve lost.  Dad looked so fit running down the beach with you, and all that hair…where did it go?  Grandpa was looking at Granny holding Dad and he was so happy and smiling, and he looked quite fit under that suit.  Is it okay to say that about your Grandpa?

Granny was beautiful, her hair was all wavy and glossy, and she was wearing these impossibly high heels.  I wouldn’t dare try them now, not even when I wasn’t drunk (which I never am I hold my alcohol quite well…does that make you feel better?).

Where did you guys go?  I am sooo scared that I’m going to disappear to the same place and never find my way back like you guys.  Tell me, was it okay getting there?  Did having kids make up for everything?  Was the house worth all the hours work, and is driving a great car compensation for your waistline?  I really want to know.

What made you get so bored that all you do is watch TV?  That your only hobby is food shopping and you haven’t seen a film since Rock Hudson was young and good looking (and straight)?  What happened and was it okay?

It scares me Mum that I’m not going to be able to weed the garden because I can’t kneel, or because my back won’t take it.  It frightens me that me and my bro will be peering over a pair of glasses trying to see what’s listed in the TV magazines and look at the TV at the same time.  I don’t want high blood pressure and cholesterol and blood sugar and the stuff you guys keep talking about.  I don’t want aches and pains and missing teeth and not to be able to bite into an apple.  How do I avoid it Mum?  Please!!!!

I hope I haven’t upset you but I just want to know how to get older without saying “In my day…” as I ‘ooof’ trying to get out of the armchair, I want every day to be my day, a day I own because I’m in the here and now loving it.  Tell me how to do that Mum, or Dad, Granny, Grandpa…anyone.  You guys are all I have to ask and the only people I can watch to help me work this out.

Show me what to do

You’re loving daughter Abby

(P.S.  and Pleeeeze don’t criticise my grammer and tell me it should be whom not who…or my spelling because I’ve never been able to spell grammer/grammar but I can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious…I think…so I’m not that bad.)

“Abby where are you?”

“Up here love”

“What are you doing?”

“I was just looking for an outfit for Nicole’s retro party at school and I found a letter I wrote to my mum when I was at uni.”

“What’s it about?”

“A shopping list”

Shopping List

Gym membership

Recipe book with proper meals in it

Hairdresser (URGENT…call mum and take her with me)

Holiday brochures

Cinema list

Fit and buff personal trainer  (male)

Find out which are the best local restaurants

List of local events and groups

Contact lenses

Cool sunglasses with varifocal lenses

High heeled shoes (very high)

Extremely fit young male gardener

The Spiritual Weapon

I’ve spent over 30 years on a path of Spiritual learning, and in that time I’ve learned not to refer to myself as Spiritual because I can’t live up to that concept in my own mind let alone in the varied ways that others seem to view it.

For me I am human because I’m here, and the more I study Spiritual thinking the more I realise how human I am.  I would dearly love to eradicate all anger, negativity, frustration, defensiveness, fear, need for approval, need to be heard, etcetera.  I would love to be able to view the world with total compassion and understanding.  I want all those things but I’m too human to have them.

Which is why when someone delivers the Spiritual Slap of “if you call yourself Spiritual…” I get a little testy because I don’t.  

I’m on a Spiritual path trying to learn what manifesting my Spirit in this life can mean and offering the results of 30+ years study to others through my forthcoming book, workshops, on-line training, and residential breaks, and just doing the best I can.

I have no wish to mentor others if I have to pretend that I’m perfect.  I want to mentor them in honesty, as a human being who has learned certain techniques that work and has a genuine desire to share those techniques and ideas with as many people as I possibly can.  And the one thing above all others that I want to help people with is inner strength and certainty so that they can create the life they want no matter what anyone else thinks, says or does.  I don’t wish to create dependence on anything, nor do I want the pressure of being seen to be Spiritual when I am human.  

Pinch me and I’ll yell, prick me with a pin and I’ll bleed, annoy me and I will get angry, and if you would like to know one thing that annoys me very much – it’s that people think they’re so Spiritual they have the right to use that as a weapon against others in order to try to diminish them.  I hate that more than I have words to tell you.

Because being Spirit is just what we are as far as I’m concerned.  I truly believe in mind, body, Spirit as a fact rather than a concept.  I genuinely believe that everyone has a Spiritual element and everyone is equal in this.  Yes life can screw us all up, but none are better than any other.  People like me have been blessed with someone to put our feet on this path, mentors, and the knowledge provided by other people and Spirit Guides to help us keep going.  None of that makes me different because everything I have been blessed with is available to every other human being on this planet.

So, at the end of the day no one is better than any other, no one owns Spirituality it is simply part of our make up, and no one should define it, endow it on someone else, and then immediately take it away in order to diminish another human being.  That is not Spiritual, it’s just another weapon of mass destruction.

Full stop.

Deb Hawken – Being Human!


Timing is Everything

For over 20 years I’ve been writing my book “Who am I, Where am I, What is this Place?” and the version about to be published is neither its first version nor first title.

For a long time I thought I’d never do it, never find the time, the commitment, the interest or the passion to write that I had so long ago.  I doubted myself and my writing even though I’ve had goodness knows how many articles published.  I read other people’s books and felt “what the heck am I trying for when all these genius’ are writing magnificent things?”

A month ago I said to my husband that if I hadn’t committed myself to the book by the time we move house (which should be within 6 months) I would give up and we would buy a business for me to run.  Then I got a publisher, then I spoke to another publisher, and then a third one turned up.

Suddenly I’m writing like a whirlwind, everything seems so simple, the book has taken on a shape it’s never achieved before, and I know exactly what I want out of it and where I feel it sits in the great scheme of things.


I’ve also studied and trained in Cosmic Ordering/The Law of Attraction, and I can only conclude that some things need the right timing before they can be provided to us. It feels like the right time for the book and everything about it is effortless.

So if you’re struggling trying to do something you’ve dreamed of but somehow you’re just not in the zone, don’t worry.  If the dream isn’t meant to be it will fade, but trust me when I tell you that if the dream is meant to be it will haunt you every day of your life until the time is right.  This is a good thing, because you know that all the time the idea won’t go you will do whatever it is.

So don’t give up on yourself, and most importantly don’t give up on your dreams.


Author of Who am I, Where am I, What is this Place.
I’m taking names for pre-orders right now if you would like to put your name on the list please complete the contact form below.

Thinking about The Law of Attraction

images (1)When I study something it isn’t so that I can put it on my website and make it part of my work, I study to find out about things, to see how they work, to discover whether they’re worth working with, and only when I feel that I’ve ‘got it’ myself do I widen that work out into the public domain.

The Law of Attraction wasn’t something that I understood easily, I read quite a few books on it, looked at other people’s thoughts and opinions, observed whether it worked for myself and others, tried and misfired (hence the article about me in a mainstream magazine that turned out to be in Auto Express which is not the natural home of Life Coaches, Writers and Mediums), and then I undertook and passed one course and am part-way through the advanced level.  It’s very simple but sometimes that simplicity is turned into complexity in the human mind until it becomes too hard for us to understand purely because it’s so simple.  That’s when we start missing the point.

An easy beginning point is:  Keep your mind in a good place at all times, when a bad thought pops in let it go and refocus on the life you want.  Picture it in detail.  Hold the image.

A deeper hint on this most magnificent of thought process is:  BE it.  The Law will only work sometimes if you are ‘it’ only sometimes.  You need to BE the Law of Attraction at all times.

Think wider than yourself:  Many people study The Law and apply it to their own lives, then find themselves moaning about the government, muttering about the state of the country, griping about their families, grimacing about their friends.  This of course means that you’re only applying The Law to one or two things that you want, and still suffering from everything outside your immediate energy field.

Ask yourself:  Is having a better internal world and personal success compromised by what the government do, problems in the country, personal, family, friendship, problems and so on?  If your answer is yes then remember that to have a truly happy life the world around you needs to be a happy place.

But you can’t change everyone else and the world:  No you can’t.  But you can practice The Law of Attraction in all things and become one of a groundswell of people affirming positive outcomes for our society so that The Law will live in us, outside us, and all around us.  Then  you won’t get the car of your dreams and find yourself sitting stationery in traffic developing an ulcer!

The ENTIRE Point?:  If you can have everything you want and be unaffected by society that’s great.  If you can’t then apply The Law everywhere, teach other people to apply it, and assert that we WILL all live in a happy, productive and successful society and get a government focussed on creating a great social structure who will be knowledgeable and spookily successful.

Don’t say you believe in The Law and then send out that everything else is rubbish, if you send out that any area of life is not working that will still impact on you – and everyone and everything else..

Your country needs YOU!

The world needs YOU!

Believe 100%!  BE 100%.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb Hawken – Life Coach, Writer, NLP Master Practitioner, Law of Attraction Practitioner, Medium.
07912 374226 – – email  Have a great day!

Questioning Spirit

No this isn’t a discussion about the relevant merits of whisky versus a decent brandy or kick butt rum!  It’s about people questioning the existence of Spirituality, gut instinct or intuition and why that’s a pointless waste of time.

Questioning Your Self (deliberate spelling)

If you have a feeling inside you then that feeling is real.  It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else, but if you feel it then it exists and therefore it is real.  If you choose to ignore that feeling, whatever it is you are ignoring something about yourself.  All very obvious of course.  The important thing to take from this is, that it is YOU that you are choosing to ignore, and it doesn’t make sense to pretend that something that is happening doesn’t exist.

But Spirituality is a Delusion?

Is it?  Is anyone sure?  How can that be proved?

Think about this for a moment, if something feels to you like an older, wiser, gentler more Spiritual part of yourself that is clear about who you are and what you want to do, what is wrong with that?  This part of you sounds like a jolly nice person who won’t manifest into this world and promptly start a war about religion, territory, food, lipstick or whether brown is the new black.   If it feels like a nicer, wiser side of you what is the problem with that?

Gut Instinct Can’t be Trusted?

Why not?  I would agree that instinct should be tested against logic but by the same token it’s an in-built self-preservation programme that we should be grateful to have, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s saying “wrong job”, “wrong car”, “wrong relationship”, what’s the harm in listening to it?  In fact how many times have you ignored it at your peril?

Other People Will Think I’m Nuts!

Don’t tell them then.  If you are finding this part of you is developing and wants you a) to take notice of it, b) to act on it’s impetus, and c) to do something with it, then test it out. Other people will always have opinions but there is only one important question:  How will you feel if you ignore what you are feeling?  Will you feel like you?

Stop Worrying

At the end of the day Spirituality, intuition and gut instinct are just parts of the human condition.  However you may view them everyone has these abilities and there’s nothing unusual about them.  Just be you and take no notice of other people.  If someone else feels that what you’re going through is weird, wrong or not right for them then as long as you are happy, peaceful, feeling better about life and more energetic all is right with your world.

P.S. – The Voices

Just a quick aside, I hope I’ve stressed very clearly in this blog that Spirituality and Spiritual instincts and feelings are about everything that is right with the world.  The inner voice is a happy, gentle, caring one.  People, animals,healing,  care of the planet, world peace all become big and real issues to people who think Spiritually.  We never hear bad voices telling us to do harm so if someone you know is experiencing something like that, that’s a completely different issue and make sure they see a doctor as quickly as they can.

Deb Hawken – Personal Change Manager Specialising in Relationships

07912 374226;; email